Catchall: Ayabe

[shortfornow]

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[shortfornow]

[ Because he's affection starved.

He lifts his hand for a moment before letting fall again. ]

You're making it sound like we're still going to be together in the future.

[kazokun]

Aren't we?

[ He's not even thinking "old men" future, at least let him have a "two days later" future, both are equally valid, Dazai, please ]

[shortfornow]

We are until this game is over with, then it'll depend on what happens with this house if we have a forever together or not.

[ He can have one week ]

[kazokun]

[ He will take that one week. ]

What will happen, huh... What do you think? Are you hopeful?

[ If they fail, they'll also be together forever ]

[shortfornow]

I don't know if I have any faith in everyone saving the day. This house has been doing it for a long time.

I don't want to be stuck like this for years though. This isn't the death I was hoping for.

[ He reaches over to grab the back of Ayabe's pajama shirt to tug him backwards. Lay down. ]

[kazokun]

[ Ayabe huffs a sigh and lies back down too, hands clasped over his stomach to stare at the ceiling. He did a lot of this in the past two weeks. ]

Something quick and painless?

[ Instead of... an endless existence as a house ghost. That's pretty much the opposite. ]

cw: suicide talk in case someone reads after unlocks

[shortfornow]

[ Rolling on to his side to look at him. ]

That's right. I want to be gone completely without any thoughts or feelings.

[kazokun]

[ That makes him frown. He already knows, but it still eats away at him, and he turns too so he can look at Dazai when he talks. ]

Are you scared? That if you have too much time... you'll regret?

[ That if he's given the time, he'll want desperately to live, just like the monster said. ]

[shortfornow]

No, I'm not afraid of that. If I find a reason to live or something that makes life interesting, then I'll give it a try.

If it winds up being just like the last couple of weeks where I'm left alone with my thoughts and everything feeling pointless again... That's what I hate the most.

[ Asch got the brunt of his bullying, but it wasn't quite the same. It's been boring there since all they can do is observe the living. ]

[kazokun]

[ And this is him trying, wanting that reason to live- he wrote in his letter that he wanted to and Ayabe doesn't want him to ever let that go. ]

Then, you should go home with me and Chuuya.

[ BULLY CHUUYA INSTEAD OF ASCH. If it's Dazai and Chuuya, he's sure it'll never be boring, and life will never feel pointless. And, as insurance- ]

Do you remember that girl back when you saw my memories? She's relentless. If I sic her on you, you'll never be left alone. It'll never be boring. I believe that much about her.

[ Where does Ayabe fit in all of this? haha idk. Chuuya and Mafuyu have everything handled. ]

[shortfornow]

[ He wants to do something with his hands, and after a moment he's going to just poke Ayabe's cheek.

There's a part of him that's a little excited that he can actually touch him again. It's probably has to do with how everything ended the last time. Dying in his arms actually felt warm. Any other reason is going to be ignored because they don't make sense. ]

Where do you fit in then? Aren't you the one who wanted to take care of me?

[kazokun]

[ Ayabe scrunches his nose, because he made this mistake of lying on his side unable to get up easily, but moves his hand to catch Dazai's wrist so he can STOP ]

I am taking care of you. I just said, I'll get you a puppy.

[shortfornow]

Are you referring to the girl or Chuuya?

[ He has two hands. The other is going to just snake under Ayabe's body to grab on to his back. Stay. ]

You said in your letter you regret not spending more time with me. We have time now, and if you manage to convince me, you'll have time with me later. Why are you pushing that time on others?

[kazokun]

Because—-

What are you doing!?

[ STOP THAT, DAZAI DOESN'T NEED TO GRAB HIM TO MAKE HIM STAY ]

[shortfornow]

Getting closer. You want to be closer to me, right?

[kazokun]

Nn- [ HE CAN'T EVEN DENY IT this is stupid

He can at least try to push Dazai off and take both his wrists, like he can't decide whether he wants to get away or keep Dazai from getting away. ]

Who the hell interprets that as this?

[shortfornow]

[ Pushed and his wrists are caught. Rude. There's a beat before he just... throws his leg around Ayabe instead. :D ]

Then you don't want to get closer to me?

[kazokun]

[ Ayabe, internally: I WANT TO BREAK YOUR LEG ]

I just said, not like this.

[shortfornow]

[ Wow. Rude.

He'll lay back on his back. ]

I see. You don't really want a hug or anything like that.

[ He does his best to sound disappointed ]

[kazokun]

Why do I want a hug?

[ He's gotten like three hugs in his entire time here. ]

Do you want one?

[shortfornow]

You're the one who couldn't sleep in here without me.

[ A pause ]

Besides, it seems to be a shame that our only one was when you were stabbing the fox.

[kazokun]

[ He could sleep! Technically. Just badly, and admitting that is worse somehow than not being able to sleep at all. ]

...If you want a hug, say so. I'll give you one.

[ Gotta ask him directly or he'll be too embarrassed otherwise. ]

[shortfornow]

You know, I don't even need you to say it at this point. I can read it clearly on your face.

[ There's a pause before he opens up his arms. Yes, he's still laying down. Come hug him ]

[kazokun]

[ This is absolutely terrible. I hope ghosts can die twice because Ayabe is going to murder Dazai later, but UNFORTUNATELY this thread takes place before all of that, so Ayabe just scowls at Dazai for a moment before moving closer.

He puts his arms around Dazai and pulls him close, one hand on his back and the other brushing through his hair that still desperately needs a trim, tucking Dazai's face against his shoulder so Ayabe can hold him warm and tight and if he's lucky maybe he can smother Dazai to death. ]

[shortfornow]

[ At least he's living his best unlife as much as possible before then.

He'll draw in a breath that probably sounds like a gasp as he's tucked against him, and then slowly he'll wrap his arms around Ayabe to hold him tight. Closing his eyes as he just relaxes into this. So this is an actual hug. ]

It's warm.