[ He did what he did, but it's always on hindsight where you look back and regret not doing more. He knows this, but that doesn't take the feeling away, the way his grip tightens in Dazai's and the way he looks away like he's just shrugging all this off instead of thinking about it. ]
It's not like the monster was "let" to kill both of us... It chased after Isaac, and later me as well. Just like a dog would instinctually chase after anything that moves. Maybe I should have found a place to hide instead, but I didn't want to go anywhere people might have slept.
[ Isaac was nothing more than a snack to Puppy. Ayabe was just a plaything that led it upstairs playing tag. He has no idea whether that makes anything better or worse, the fact that his death and Isaac's weren't significant at all— in the end, it was only Agni who could have satisfied the monster, the only other person who was awake, except he was too late, and...
His grip on Dazai's hand tightens in surprise when he feels the hand in his hair and he looks up, reaching with his other hand to touch his head too. ]
[ Ayabe clicks his tongue at Dazai, because how is he the idiot when Dazai's the one touching his hair for no reason? ]
It was quick. But the night itself was too long.
[ And it was painful, everything leading up to that very last moment. Every step he took, every breath he drew. But the actual death was quick, when it finally came. ]
[ Why would anybody try to comfort Ayabe, don't do that
He moves his hand to touch his stomach again, but that's all he does, the extent of checking himself for injuries before he moves his hand away and settles back on the bed. ]
I don't need to. It doesn't hurt anymore, and I can breathe. This body... isn't even real, is it? Because I'm dead, and so are you, and we aren't supposed to be able to come back.
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no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 02:48 am (UTC)It's not like the monster was "let" to kill both of us... It chased after Isaac, and later me as well. Just like a dog would instinctually chase after anything that moves. Maybe I should have found a place to hide instead, but I didn't want to go anywhere people might have slept.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:03 am (UTC)[ Holding up a single finger with his free hand, to both get Ayabe to keep looking his way and to indicate it's supposed to be the one kill. ]
Zenitsu however didn't change back. He didn't change back after you, either.
[ He was still going until he was stopped by Agni.
There's a pause as he lifts his hand. What was it that he saw people do?
Reaching over to stroke Ayabe's hair gently. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:15 am (UTC)His grip on Dazai's hand tightens in surprise when he feels the hand in his hair and he looks up, reaching with his other hand to touch his head too. ]
What? Is there something there?
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:21 am (UTC)You're an idiot. Nothing is in your hair.
[ Letting his hand drop. ]
Was it a quick and painless death?
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:27 am (UTC)It was quick. But the night itself was too long.
[ And it was painful, everything leading up to that very last moment. Every step he took, every breath he drew. But the actual death was quick, when it finally came. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:40 am (UTC)At least it was quick.
[ Even if there was a part of him that still felt like Ayabe should never have gone through that. He hates these feelings take them back. ]
You still haven't checked yourself for injuries.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:49 am (UTC)He moves his hand to touch his stomach again, but that's all he does, the extent of checking himself for injuries before he moves his hand away and settles back on the bed. ]
I don't need to. It doesn't hurt anymore, and I can breathe. This body... isn't even real, is it? Because I'm dead, and so are you, and we aren't supposed to be able to come back.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 04:01 am (UTC)Just to be sure. You needed to check mine, so it's only fair I help check yours.
[ Tugging on Ayabe's top. Take it off ]
Didn't I feel real in your arms? Remember, this house doesn't go by normal rules.