[ Dazai gets a look for holding his hand, but Ayabe still doesn't pull away. ]
Of course I was scared.
[ He's not like literally everybody else here who can face down a monster or get a limb torn off and barely even blink. Y'all are crazy. ]
I didn't know what to do. The monster had already killed Isaac, and I couldn't stay outside where Ken and Chuuya and Beau were, so I tried to reach Blue on the top floor. That was stupid of me. I've barely talked to the guy, so I should never have had hope he would help.
[ Let's be real, Dazai would be the only one okay with being chased down by a monster.
He's ignoring the look though as he listens. ]
You did what you could do. It seems like the house decided to play a little unfair that night, and let the monster kill more than one person. All the doors remain unlock until the night is over with.
[ A pause as he thinks about the image on the screen of Ayabe's body being looked over by Chuuya. His gaze lowers to his cheeks for a moment as he thinks about the dried tears that were there.
Maybe touching this topic was a bad idea after all. ]
[ He did what he did, but it's always on hindsight where you look back and regret not doing more. He knows this, but that doesn't take the feeling away, the way his grip tightens in Dazai's and the way he looks away like he's just shrugging all this off instead of thinking about it. ]
It's not like the monster was "let" to kill both of us... It chased after Isaac, and later me as well. Just like a dog would instinctually chase after anything that moves. Maybe I should have found a place to hide instead, but I didn't want to go anywhere people might have slept.
[ Isaac was nothing more than a snack to Puppy. Ayabe was just a plaything that led it upstairs playing tag. He has no idea whether that makes anything better or worse, the fact that his death and Isaac's weren't significant at all— in the end, it was only Agni who could have satisfied the monster, the only other person who was awake, except he was too late, and...
His grip on Dazai's hand tightens in surprise when he feels the hand in his hair and he looks up, reaching with his other hand to touch his head too. ]
[ Ayabe clicks his tongue at Dazai, because how is he the idiot when Dazai's the one touching his hair for no reason? ]
It was quick. But the night itself was too long.
[ And it was painful, everything leading up to that very last moment. Every step he took, every breath he drew. But the actual death was quick, when it finally came. ]
[ Why would anybody try to comfort Ayabe, don't do that
He moves his hand to touch his stomach again, but that's all he does, the extent of checking himself for injuries before he moves his hand away and settles back on the bed. ]
I don't need to. It doesn't hurt anymore, and I can breathe. This body... isn't even real, is it? Because I'm dead, and so are you, and we aren't supposed to be able to come back.
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no subject
Date: 2020-04-03 07:15 pm (UTC)I'm not talking about wishing ill on someone. I'm talking about if you would trust any of them with your vulnerable side.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-03 07:16 pm (UTC)That depends on how sick I am.
[ If he's sick enough he might not have a choice ]
no subject
Date: 2020-04-03 07:24 pm (UTC)[ Not his problem but there is something of a challenge there to get Ayabe to lower his guard that is kind of appealing. ]
What would you do if it held my interest to see you like that? That I might want to stick around to catch that side of you?
no subject
Date: 2020-04-03 07:27 pm (UTC)Then you're just going to have to stick around forever, because that's how long you're going to have to wait.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-03 07:57 pm (UTC)[ Sitting back on the edge of the bed as he thinks about it. ]
I'm also not the type to be taken care of without getting something out of it.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-03 07:59 pm (UTC)So... what? You want me to eat something off the floor and get food poisoning just so you can see? I'm not doing it.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-03 08:16 pm (UTC)[ Thinking for a moment before he turns towards Ayabe again. ]
Tell me about the night you were killed.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 01:30 am (UTC)also Dazai: but please recount your traumatic death for me ]
I'm not going to cry talking about it, if that's what you're hoping. Do you want to know how I died? There's no point.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 01:41 am (UTC)Walk me through it anyways and tell me what you felt. I'll even hold your hand if you want.
[ Wiggling his fingers at Ayabe. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 01:48 am (UTC)[ He doesn't pull his hand away, though, it's just there. ]
I was in the blood room when the monster broke down the door. It was painful, as you could imagine.
[ He puts a hand on his stomach. This counts as what he felt. Pain. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 01:53 am (UTC)I don't mean what you felt physically. Emotionally, Reito. Were you scared? You went up all of those stairs before getting to the blood room.
[ All of that climbing with a monster coming after him ]
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 02:09 am (UTC)Of course I was scared.
[ He's not like literally everybody else here who can face down a monster or get a limb torn off and barely even blink. Y'all are crazy. ]
I didn't know what to do. The monster had already killed Isaac, and I couldn't stay outside where Ken and Chuuya and Beau were, so I tried to reach Blue on the top floor. That was stupid of me. I've barely talked to the guy, so I should never have had hope he would help.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 02:34 am (UTC)He's ignoring the look though as he listens. ]
You did what you could do. It seems like the house decided to play a little unfair that night, and let the monster kill more than one person. All the doors remain unlock until the night is over with.
[ A pause as he thinks about the image on the screen of Ayabe's body being looked over by Chuuya. His gaze lowers to his cheeks for a moment as he thinks about the dried tears that were there.
Maybe touching this topic was a bad idea after all. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 02:48 am (UTC)It's not like the monster was "let" to kill both of us... It chased after Isaac, and later me as well. Just like a dog would instinctually chase after anything that moves. Maybe I should have found a place to hide instead, but I didn't want to go anywhere people might have slept.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:03 am (UTC)[ Holding up a single finger with his free hand, to both get Ayabe to keep looking his way and to indicate it's supposed to be the one kill. ]
Zenitsu however didn't change back. He didn't change back after you, either.
[ He was still going until he was stopped by Agni.
There's a pause as he lifts his hand. What was it that he saw people do?
Reaching over to stroke Ayabe's hair gently. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:15 am (UTC)His grip on Dazai's hand tightens in surprise when he feels the hand in his hair and he looks up, reaching with his other hand to touch his head too. ]
What? Is there something there?
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:21 am (UTC)You're an idiot. Nothing is in your hair.
[ Letting his hand drop. ]
Was it a quick and painless death?
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:27 am (UTC)It was quick. But the night itself was too long.
[ And it was painful, everything leading up to that very last moment. Every step he took, every breath he drew. But the actual death was quick, when it finally came. ]
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:40 am (UTC)At least it was quick.
[ Even if there was a part of him that still felt like Ayabe should never have gone through that. He hates these feelings take them back. ]
You still haven't checked yourself for injuries.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 03:49 am (UTC)He moves his hand to touch his stomach again, but that's all he does, the extent of checking himself for injuries before he moves his hand away and settles back on the bed. ]
I don't need to. It doesn't hurt anymore, and I can breathe. This body... isn't even real, is it? Because I'm dead, and so are you, and we aren't supposed to be able to come back.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-04 04:01 am (UTC)Just to be sure. You needed to check mine, so it's only fair I help check yours.
[ Tugging on Ayabe's top. Take it off ]
Didn't I feel real in your arms? Remember, this house doesn't go by normal rules.