Catchall: Ayabe

[shortfornow]

Comments

[shortfornow]

[ He wants to do something with his hands, and after a moment he's going to just poke Ayabe's cheek.

There's a part of him that's a little excited that he can actually touch him again. It's probably has to do with how everything ended the last time. Dying in his arms actually felt warm. Any other reason is going to be ignored because they don't make sense. ]

Where do you fit in then? Aren't you the one who wanted to take care of me?

[kazokun]

[ Ayabe scrunches his nose, because he made this mistake of lying on his side unable to get up easily, but moves his hand to catch Dazai's wrist so he can STOP ]

I am taking care of you. I just said, I'll get you a puppy.

[shortfornow]

Are you referring to the girl or Chuuya?

[ He has two hands. The other is going to just snake under Ayabe's body to grab on to his back. Stay. ]

You said in your letter you regret not spending more time with me. We have time now, and if you manage to convince me, you'll have time with me later. Why are you pushing that time on others?

[kazokun]

Because—-

What are you doing!?

[ STOP THAT, DAZAI DOESN'T NEED TO GRAB HIM TO MAKE HIM STAY ]

[shortfornow]

Getting closer. You want to be closer to me, right?

[kazokun]

Nn- [ HE CAN'T EVEN DENY IT this is stupid

He can at least try to push Dazai off and take both his wrists, like he can't decide whether he wants to get away or keep Dazai from getting away. ]

Who the hell interprets that as this?

[shortfornow]

[ Pushed and his wrists are caught. Rude. There's a beat before he just... throws his leg around Ayabe instead. :D ]

Then you don't want to get closer to me?

[kazokun]

[ Ayabe, internally: I WANT TO BREAK YOUR LEG ]

I just said, not like this.

[shortfornow]

[ Wow. Rude.

He'll lay back on his back. ]

I see. You don't really want a hug or anything like that.

[ He does his best to sound disappointed ]

[kazokun]

Why do I want a hug?

[ He's gotten like three hugs in his entire time here. ]

Do you want one?

[shortfornow]

You're the one who couldn't sleep in here without me.

[ A pause ]

Besides, it seems to be a shame that our only one was when you were stabbing the fox.

[kazokun]

[ He could sleep! Technically. Just badly, and admitting that is worse somehow than not being able to sleep at all. ]

...If you want a hug, say so. I'll give you one.

[ Gotta ask him directly or he'll be too embarrassed otherwise. ]

[shortfornow]

You know, I don't even need you to say it at this point. I can read it clearly on your face.

[ There's a pause before he opens up his arms. Yes, he's still laying down. Come hug him ]

[kazokun]

[ This is absolutely terrible. I hope ghosts can die twice because Ayabe is going to murder Dazai later, but UNFORTUNATELY this thread takes place before all of that, so Ayabe just scowls at Dazai for a moment before moving closer.

He puts his arms around Dazai and pulls him close, one hand on his back and the other brushing through his hair that still desperately needs a trim, tucking Dazai's face against his shoulder so Ayabe can hold him warm and tight and if he's lucky maybe he can smother Dazai to death. ]

[shortfornow]

[ At least he's living his best unlife as much as possible before then.

He'll draw in a breath that probably sounds like a gasp as he's tucked against him, and then slowly he'll wrap his arms around Ayabe to hold him tight. Closing his eyes as he just relaxes into this. So this is an actual hug. ]

It's warm.

[kazokun]

[ A real hug and not a death hug... ]

...Yeah, it's warm.

[ Like this, he's murmuring into Dazai's hair, and like this, he smiles a little too, because Dazai can't see. ]

It's supposed to be: warm and comforting. A safe feeling.

i would have to tap into fanart for normal smiles for him

[shortfornow]

[ He can feel that rare smile, and his own lips lift up against Ayabe. He can get lost in this feeling for a bit longer because he can't really think of anything else.

It's peaceful just like this. ]

The only time I felt like that was... [ Napping with Chuuya. He doesn't finish that statement though. ]

what does it say about Dazai who doesn't smile normally in canon....

[kazokun]

[ He doesn't finish the statement, so Ayabe mentally completes it with "back when I was in the mafia," the same as Chuuya's claim of the last time he was happy. It's the life Ayabe wants to take them away from, idly stroking Dazai's head, combing his fingers through his hair. He'd like to let them have those happy memories, but show them life could be happier. ]

... Is it still the only time? It'd be nice if one day, you could look back at this, and say it for this too.

[shortfornow]

[ It must be interesting to touch with those bandages up top.

It's Ayabe's words that lets him know he thinks that he thinks it's a different time. There's a quiet laugh that probable feel warm against Ayabe as turns his head towards the crook of his neck. ]

You're mistaken. It's only at this place that I could feel those things.

[ His safe and secure memories happened in a murder mansion where he turned into a fox demon. ]

[kazokun]

No it's not.

[ You're wrong? Murder mansion should be the last place he feels these things, unless Dazai is talking about like... contrast, or something. Which in that case he's still wrong, you shouldn't need a life full of danger to be made to feel safe. ]

[shortfornow]

[ A life full of danger actually is interesting for him. ]

Are you saying I'm wrong because you think I'll find it some where else? You're really optimistic, Re-i-to.

[kazokun]

[ Throws Dazai into P3, he doesn't deserve Ayabe's sol canon. ]

That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm being realistic, not optimistic.

[shortfornow]

[ He must never meet Minato. ]

It's not going to happen. You see, I'm walking away from my happiness before it can be taken away from me again. Besides, neither of you will have any time for me.

[ Spend. Time. With. Your. BF. ]

[kazokun]

Says who? Besides, neither of us are going anywhere, so what makes you think happiness will be "taken away"?

[ He won't have time, though, that's true. Not even for Chuuya. Ayabe's going to go home and go to class like a good student and go to student council meetings and go back to the dorm to do his manager duties and breaks are reserved for hanging out with his family. Chuuya and Dazai will have to spend time with each other in his stead. ]

[shortfornow]

[ This is why Dazai would be good for him. Look at how he's already ignoring cleaning up the rest of the room for the gremlin in his arms. ]

Says you. You're taking Chuuya home, right? While I'm going back to the Port Mafia.