Ayabe's not even good at understanding people or being aware of things on a normal basis and the link doesn't help him understand Dazai at all, just the curiosity and the probing and the little aha! when Dazai says "oh" and Ayabe scowls in return. ]
Cut the bullshit, Dazai, and don't make assumptions about my life. My family isn't relevant to anybody but myself, so just drop it.
[ The anxiety creeps up a little, but also frustration— and that frustration is directed inwards at himself than out at Dazai. His family problems are his own problems and nobody can help, that's what he believes and so he shuts down the avenue for talking about it right away, it wouldn't help anything. ]
[ Watching him for a moment or two longer, just feeling out that link for a moment before he gives a light wave of his hand. ]
They are a big part as to why you're you. I'll drop it though.
[ What he'll feel from Dazai after that is something like a keen interest for a moment before it turns into something calmer. There's a distinct lack of any other normal emotions. ]
[ Ayabe never figured anything out about 45 or Melt or Luna, but he is now convinced that Dazai is a robot.
He's quiet for a moment, shifting uneasily on his seat on the bed, because him being him isn't important at all either. Just a normal boy with no special qualities who is in over his head if he thinks he can be of any use fighting monsters or solving mysteries. That should be enough for people, without needing to dig any deeper. ]
Why do you care? The most important things about people are already listed on their placards- jobs, and skills. Those are the sorts of things you should care about more.
[ That is probably an insult to robots, especially since Luna seems to actually care about people. ]
Jobs and skills hardly state what kind of personality someone has or how they will act in a crisis. [ There's a pause here. ] Or more accurately how someone will act if they are possessed by a monster.
Besides, we've been living together all of this time. Might as well know more about you.
[ Ayabe makes a bit of a face, because he thought jobs and skills would tell you just that. A look at his profile says he's a student council member and dorm manager— in a normal crisis like a fire or earthquake, he's trained to prioritize others, keep everybody calm and organized, and lead them to safety.
Monsters, though, he couldn't tell anything at all, being with Hunter the night before he killed and the night after and there was no difference, everything carried on as normal. ]
Everything you need to know about me is on the wall. I'm a student, I keep my head down and I'm not involved in anything special like all those other guys out there. Not like you. A member of the mafia?
Your placard makes it sound like you're just a student who is independent and possibly living alone.
It shares nothing of your other quirks like... [ Dazai is just going to run his fingers through his own messy hair, showing off some of the shorter, uneven bits of hair around where the bandages wrap around. Look how messy and uneven. ]
How you probably still want to trim my hair. If you committed a crime, it would probably be super clean and you would probably scrub yourself raw to make sure there isn't any blood on you.
[ Then there's a moment of ! from Dazai as he sits up quickly. Putting his chin on his hand as he plants his elbow down on his leg. ]
What can you gain from just my placard alone? You know I'm part of the mafia. What else can you figure out about me?
[ UGH. Yeah, there's still that visceral reaction to wanting to cut Dazai's hair when he does that, and Ayabe would be the most obvious murderer in this place because there would be no clues, the mansion would be spotless and nobody would need to figure out how things happened because they already know the who. ]
You're a dick, but I didn't get that off the placard.
[ He got that off Chuuya drawing on the plate outside the room, and Chuuya wasn't wrong. But he does decide to humor Dazai, going over to the closet where he throws his used notebooks to find the one with people's profiles written on them, flipping through until he finds Dazai's.
The first thing he points at is what's written just under his name: "I've come to think it's worth trying." ]
You're unmotivated, unless you find something personally interesting. But you're not stupid- you're like those students who are naturally gifted, so you don't put forth any effort at all and instead you're disruptive in class.
[ Hmm. He skips through some of the stats, because all that tells him is that Dazai's younger than him but is around the same height and weight. ]
I'm inclined not to believe "Member of Port Mafia" only because of your age, but then it says "Chuuya's owner" and it feels like I can take everything else on the placard to be written from your point of view, with your personality. As in, taking everything with a grain of salt and not literally. For my own sanity, I shouldn't be taking you literally or seriously all the time either.
[ Maybe Port Mafia is some high school delinquent gang?? That would be more in line with what Ayabe is familiar with, high school punks. ]
[ Just going to stare for a moment or two before letting out a huff that almost sounds like a laugh. There is definitely amusement there. ]
Bzzz. Wrong. It would be different if it was written by my point of view. I wouldn't have used that particular quote and I wouldn't have called myself his owner. He is supposed to work under me. We're both members of the Mafia. You know, the group that smuggles in weapons and shoot each other up with guns.
It's not just the danger. Working with Chuuya made me realize that working so close to death and raw emotions makes life actually interesting. [ A pause as he taps the quote Ayabe wrote down. ]
[ It makes Ayabe frown, though, alarm bells in the back of his mind because death and raw emotions should not be interesting— especially to somebody who doesn't feel them in the same capacity as most other people do, if that's what the weird sense of calm he gets from Dazai is. Not calm. More like... the lack of anything. ]
This place... everything that's going on. Is this interesting to you?
[ Don't do this to him, he's dumb, what does that meeeeeeeaann
Also please address the whole not interested in living thing? Dazai?? ]
So, what, the mystery of this place? This... bond thing? You sure felt some interested playing twenty questions, like earlier when you picked up glass and cut your hand and lied to me about it.
[ Aha. That sort of mystery that Ayabe's been wracking his brain on trying to figure out, but like nearly every other peculiarity in this place, he has to chalk it up to being ~*~*magic*~*~ ]
Maybe 45 is right and this is some virtual simulation thing.
[ BEST CASE SCENARIO, RIGHT THERE
He also raises a hand, though, gesturing at Dazai's hand. ]
If you don't get hurt, nobody will make a fuss over your wounds. I can't help but worry for you when I see them, that's the natural reaction.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Ayabe's not even good at understanding people or being aware of things on a normal basis and the link doesn't help him understand Dazai at all, just the curiosity and the probing and the little aha! when Dazai says "oh" and Ayabe scowls in return. ]
Cut the bullshit, Dazai, and don't make assumptions about my life. My family isn't relevant to anybody but myself, so just drop it.
[ The anxiety creeps up a little, but also frustration— and that frustration is directed inwards at himself than out at Dazai. His family problems are his own problems and nobody can help, that's what he believes and so he shuts down the avenue for talking about it right away, it wouldn't help anything. ]
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They are a big part as to why you're you. I'll drop it though.
[ What he'll feel from Dazai after that is something like a keen interest for a moment before it turns into something calmer. There's a distinct lack of any other normal emotions. ]
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He's quiet for a moment, shifting uneasily on his seat on the bed, because him being him isn't important at all either. Just a normal boy with no special qualities who is in over his head if he thinks he can be of any use fighting monsters or solving mysteries. That should be enough for people, without needing to dig any deeper. ]
Why do you care? The most important things about people are already listed on their placards- jobs, and skills. Those are the sorts of things you should care about more.
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Jobs and skills hardly state what kind of personality someone has or how they will act in a crisis. [ There's a pause here. ] Or more accurately how someone will act if they are possessed by a monster.
Besides, we've been living together all of this time. Might as well know more about you.
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Monsters, though, he couldn't tell anything at all, being with Hunter the night before he killed and the night after and there was no difference, everything carried on as normal. ]
Everything you need to know about me is on the wall. I'm a student, I keep my head down and I'm not involved in anything special like all those other guys out there. Not like you. A member of the mafia?
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Your placard makes it sound like you're just a student who is independent and possibly living alone.
It shares nothing of your other quirks like... [ Dazai is just going to run his fingers through his own messy hair, showing off some of the shorter, uneven bits of hair around where the bandages wrap around. Look how messy and uneven. ]
How you probably still want to trim my hair. If you committed a crime, it would probably be super clean and you would probably scrub yourself raw to make sure there isn't any blood on you.
[ Then there's a moment of ! from Dazai as he sits up quickly. Putting his chin on his hand as he plants his elbow down on his leg. ]
What can you gain from just my placard alone? You know I'm part of the mafia. What else can you figure out about me?
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You're a dick, but I didn't get that off the placard.
[ He got that off Chuuya drawing on the plate outside the room, and Chuuya wasn't wrong. But he does decide to humor Dazai, going over to the closet where he throws his used notebooks to find the one with people's profiles written on them, flipping through until he finds Dazai's.
The first thing he points at is what's written just under his name: "I've come to think it's worth trying." ]
You're unmotivated, unless you find something personally interesting. But you're not stupid- you're like those students who are naturally gifted, so you don't put forth any effort at all and instead you're disruptive in class.
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Ah, those words. He almost forgot those were on his placard. ]
Continue continue~ I'll let you know how you did after you go through the whole thing.
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I'm inclined not to believe "Member of Port Mafia" only because of your age, but then it says "Chuuya's owner" and it feels like I can take everything else on the placard to be written from your point of view, with your personality. As in, taking everything with a grain of salt and not literally. For my own sanity, I shouldn't be taking you literally or seriously all the time either.
[ Maybe Port Mafia is some high school delinquent gang?? That would be more in line with what Ayabe is familiar with, high school punks. ]
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Bzzz. Wrong. It would be different if it was written by my point of view. I wouldn't have used that particular quote and I wouldn't have called myself his owner. He is supposed to work under me. We're both members of the Mafia. You know, the group that smuggles in weapons and shoot each other up with guns.
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[ Fifteen!! First of all, why are they in any sort of organized crime????? He's crying inside, please stay in school ]
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I'm the one who recruited him after I joined up.
[ Recruited or push some dominoes until Chuuya was given little choice but to join. Same difference. ]
While most of the organization is full of adults, we also have members that are younger than we are.
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Why...? That's not a life people should be in. It's dangerous, and there are better options... You can leave now that you're older.
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I know it's dangerous. That's why it's appealing towards someone like me. While Chuuya has his own reasons for joining.
[ Reasons outside of Dazai trapping him into it actually. That's for his partner to share though. ]
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If you want something dangerous, become a motorcyclist... Join a biker gang, not the mafia.
Cw: Suicide idealization light???? I can change this if you need me to
In that moment, life was worth living.
I'm good with these topics! o7
This place... everything that's going on. Is this interesting to you?
okay o7
Are you wondering if I'm interested in the murders or wondering if I'm no longer interested in living?
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Both.
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Sometimes something here does interest me, but it comes and goes.
[ Take that whatever way you want, Ayabe ]
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Also please address the whole not interested in living thing? Dazai?? ]
So, what, the mystery of this place? This... bond thing? You sure felt some interested playing twenty questions, like earlier when you picked up glass and cut your hand and lied to me about it.
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[ He did wake up to smelling death and decay in the room he stayed in
Then he'll lift up his hand that he cut before, before wiggling his fingers. ]
I don't like people making a fuss over my wounds.
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Maybe 45 is right and this is some virtual simulation thing.
[ BEST CASE SCENARIO, RIGHT THERE
He also raises a hand, though, gesturing at Dazai's hand. ]
If you don't get hurt, nobody will make a fuss over your wounds. I can't help but worry for you when I see them, that's the natural reaction.
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[ Also hes just going to look at his hand...
then lick where the cut is. ]
Getting hurt here is inevitable. Maybe you'll learn to make less of a fuss.