[ Why do this to him?! Pick up those shoes- Ayabe frowns and swats Dazai's hand away before sitting up, more annoyed about those shoes than anything else, Dazai, please ]
Why am I "Reito" now?
[ Only Luna calls him that, and nobody else has changed habits since he introduced himself week 0 ]
[ He should go up to his placard and sharpie out his first name so nobody else finds out what it is. Those shoes do get picked up and put away, though, before he goes to sit back down on the bed. ]
It wasn't just me. We were just... frustrated, at never being able to do anything to prevent people from getting hurt. Whoever's awake at night has to pass through the stairs, right?
[ asdflkjh there might have been more tape on more steps but instead Ayabe was too busy bullying Jin Ling for us to hammer out anything more solid than that. ]
What does a buddy system help? And the stairs were a large enough area...
[ It was a very long area. A stupid area. Nobody sleep on the stairs ]
[ Making a mess like that goes against Ayabe's PRINCIPLES but it is something they had thought about and ultimately nixed ]
We considered that, but between then and the trial, people would have showered and washed off their shoes, gotten rid of that sort of evidence. [ we shouldn't be finding evidence in strip searches??? ]
And... people here shouldn't be lying in the first place. Not when everybody's lives are at stake.
[ He cannot say anything about Jin Ling, Ash, or Toi not being dumb, he was also very dumb on curfew night ]
[ He's pausing now and taking a deep breath. There's been a mess of emotions and he hates it. He isn't even sure if he's actually bothered that his room mates weren't in the room or not bothered at all. ]
That's certainly true. There's a lot of might happens or could happens in that scenario.
[ A beat as he reaches over to poke him again. ]
Reito-kun. Reito-san. Reito.
[ It's almost as if he's testing to see what sounds natural. He's fully expecting to be swatted at or something. ]
Everyone lies or will lie to protect themselves or someone they care about. You've seen it already earlier in the trial.
Reito's fine. Or, better yet, stick with Ayabe like everybody else.
[ He is absolutely swatting Dazai's hand away, and also shifting so that instead of sitting at the edge of the bed, he's more in the center and crosslegged to face Dazai instead of side by side.
It's the more important part of the conversation he hesitates on, because. That sure was a spectacle between Babo Kim and Nie Huaisang and everybody in the know— not necessarily lies, but withheld information, and that's just as bad. ]
People protect people they care about, I know that. I would too. But the stakes are too high this time: if we're wrong, everybody will be in greater danger. That's not protecting anybody.
[ Or when somebody you deeply care about is on the line. For Ayabe, it hasn't been like that- he'd been careful not too get to close to people, and in some aspects he's failing but talks like this makes it easier to take a step back again. ]
[ He looks taken aback for a moment, because he can't remember if he ever told Dazai about his siblings, not having much of a reason to bring them up on his own accord because when he thinks about them, all there is is sadness, guilt— immense fondness, but it's drowned out by the way he clams up a little, holding his breath. ]
Five younger siblings. Why? Somebody told you?
[ He can think of maybe three or four people who know, but there's no reason to talk about them behind Ayabe's back. ]
Sighing for a moment as he turns to face his body towards Ayabe ]
You told me. [ A beat. ] Well, your actions told me. You're used to fussing over others. [ Studying him carefully and not really concealing that he is doing do. It doesn't seem like there's grief or sorrow there. Just... Ayabe holding his breath and wondering if someone told him. Hm. ]
It's odd you haven't brought them up, which means it's likely not a happy topic for you. Did you disappoint your younger siblings?
[ Sometimes you just have a lot of FEELINGS that you hold inside until you explode. It gets worse, being directly confronted like this and Ayabe leans back a little as if that would be enough to get himself out from under the microscope, but the only thing that would save him is getting up and walking away.
Like he did to his siblings, and the thought is enough to weight down on his head and make him look away. ]
If you can tell it's not a happy topic, why would I bring up my family?
[ Maybe if they talked about family stuff the first day as roommates Ayabe could immediately go "oh my god" because he ran away from his family while now he's surrounded by orphans. ]
[ WOW he looks like he wants to argue and deny this obsession, but he also just put away Dazai's shoes so what can he do ]
Why wouldn't they be alive?
[ His life is so painfully normal, there's no way he would even fathom some freak accident where all five of his siblings were suddenly killed. But there's some relief, though, when Dazai gives him a prompt instead of making him talk all on his own, and he takes it. ]
And of course I would rather get out of here and be at- at home. Wouldn't anybody?
[ Looks like he finally found a use for these pesky links with others. He can tell the other is grabbing on to his suggestion, which also says something. He's pondering on exactly what that says, but he'll answer the first statement. ]
You never know the circumstances of those around you.
[ Offering a lift of his shoulders as he opens his eye to look at the other again. ]
It's more than that. You would have mentioned them if it was just that. It seems like normally you can't see them- [ A pause as something else clicks in place. ] Oh. That's how it is.
Ayabe's not even good at understanding people or being aware of things on a normal basis and the link doesn't help him understand Dazai at all, just the curiosity and the probing and the little aha! when Dazai says "oh" and Ayabe scowls in return. ]
Cut the bullshit, Dazai, and don't make assumptions about my life. My family isn't relevant to anybody but myself, so just drop it.
[ The anxiety creeps up a little, but also frustration— and that frustration is directed inwards at himself than out at Dazai. His family problems are his own problems and nobody can help, that's what he believes and so he shuts down the avenue for talking about it right away, it wouldn't help anything. ]
[ Watching him for a moment or two longer, just feeling out that link for a moment before he gives a light wave of his hand. ]
They are a big part as to why you're you. I'll drop it though.
[ What he'll feel from Dazai after that is something like a keen interest for a moment before it turns into something calmer. There's a distinct lack of any other normal emotions. ]
[ Ayabe never figured anything out about 45 or Melt or Luna, but he is now convinced that Dazai is a robot.
He's quiet for a moment, shifting uneasily on his seat on the bed, because him being him isn't important at all either. Just a normal boy with no special qualities who is in over his head if he thinks he can be of any use fighting monsters or solving mysteries. That should be enough for people, without needing to dig any deeper. ]
Why do you care? The most important things about people are already listed on their placards- jobs, and skills. Those are the sorts of things you should care about more.
[ That is probably an insult to robots, especially since Luna seems to actually care about people. ]
Jobs and skills hardly state what kind of personality someone has or how they will act in a crisis. [ There's a pause here. ] Or more accurately how someone will act if they are possessed by a monster.
Besides, we've been living together all of this time. Might as well know more about you.
[ Ayabe makes a bit of a face, because he thought jobs and skills would tell you just that. A look at his profile says he's a student council member and dorm manager— in a normal crisis like a fire or earthquake, he's trained to prioritize others, keep everybody calm and organized, and lead them to safety.
Monsters, though, he couldn't tell anything at all, being with Hunter the night before he killed and the night after and there was no difference, everything carried on as normal. ]
Everything you need to know about me is on the wall. I'm a student, I keep my head down and I'm not involved in anything special like all those other guys out there. Not like you. A member of the mafia?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Why am I "Reito" now?
[ Only Luna calls him that, and nobody else has changed habits since he introduced himself week 0 ]
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Because I felt like it.
[ Maybe because he heard it from Luna. ]
What was this about you sleeping on the stairs? What were you trying to do?
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It wasn't just me. We were just... frustrated, at never being able to do anything to prevent people from getting hurt. Whoever's awake at night has to pass through the stairs, right?
[ There was
a thought process, somewhere. ]
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It seems as if this place doesn't quite follow the rules.
[ They went through the floor... ]
If you want to help, keep to a buddy system and maybe trap a larger area.
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What does a buddy system help? And the stairs were a large enough area...
[ It was a very long area. A stupid area. Nobody sleep on the stairs ]
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[ It'll at least let people know where people have gone. ]
Staying with only a couple others makes it easier to tell if they are lying or not.
[ Also pls hang with less dumb people on murder night ]
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We considered that, but between then and the trial, people would have showered and washed off their shoes, gotten rid of that sort of evidence. [ we shouldn't be finding evidence in strip searches??? ]
And... people here shouldn't be lying in the first place. Not when everybody's lives are at stake.
[ He cannot say anything about Jin Ling, Ash, or Toi not being dumb, he was also very dumb on curfew night ]
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That's certainly true. There's a lot of might happens or could happens in that scenario.
[ A beat as he reaches over to poke him again. ]
Reito-kun. Reito-san. Reito.
[ It's almost as if he's testing to see what sounds natural. He's fully expecting to be swatted at or something. ]
Everyone lies or will lie to protect themselves or someone they care about. You've seen it already earlier in the trial.
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[ He is absolutely swatting Dazai's hand away, and also shifting so that instead of sitting at the edge of the bed, he's more in the center and crosslegged to face Dazai instead of side by side.
It's the more important part of the conversation he hesitates on, because. That sure was a spectacle between Babo Kim and Nie Huaisang and everybody in the know— not necessarily lies, but withheld information, and that's just as bad. ]
People protect people they care about, I know that. I would too. But the stakes are too high this time: if we're wrong, everybody will be in greater danger. That's not protecting anybody.
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[ He'll go with that one for now. He's just going to lay across the bed, trying to get himself comfortable. ]
Some people can't see the bigger picture like that or refuse to.
[ Look at all the arguing that was happening instead of spending it on the last killer. ]
They all managed it in the end, but it came pretty close.
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[ Or when somebody you deeply care about is on the line. For Ayabe, it hasn't been like that- he'd been careful not too get to close to people, and in some aspects he's failing but talks like this makes it easier to take a step back again. ]
We managed it. You're involved too.
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I wasn't really involved. I just watched and then poked fun of Chuuya.
[ Waving his hand. Don't give him any credit. ]
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[ It's a very loose definition of the word, but still better than seeing things as "me" and "everybody else" ]
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Alright alright, we found the culprit.
[ This we stuff is still new and exhausting tbh. Let's switch topics really quickly ]
So, how many siblings do you have?
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Five younger siblings. Why? Somebody told you?
[ He can think of maybe three or four people who know, but there's no reason to talk about them behind Ayabe's back. ]
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Sighing for a moment as he turns to face his body towards Ayabe ]
You told me. [ A beat. ] Well, your actions told me. You're used to fussing over others. [ Studying him carefully and not really concealing that he is doing do. It doesn't seem like there's grief or sorrow there. Just... Ayabe holding his breath and wondering if someone told him. Hm. ]
It's odd you haven't brought them up, which means it's likely not a happy topic for you. Did you disappoint your younger siblings?
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Like he did to his siblings, and the thought is enough to weight down on his head and make him look away. ]
If you can tell it's not a happy topic, why would I bring up my family?
[ Maybe if they talked about family stuff the first day as roommates Ayabe could immediately go "oh my god" because he ran away from his family while now he's surrounded by orphans. ]
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Noticing he skipped the question about disappointing. So that might be hitting the truth then. Interesting. ]
Besides your obsession, you seem rather normal. [ Closing his eyes as he leans back on the bed again. ]
So they are alive and you feel bad about them. Is it because you're here instead of at home?
[ Just going to keep asking shit for now. ]
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Why wouldn't they be alive?
[ His life is so painfully normal, there's no way he would even fathom some freak accident where all five of his siblings were suddenly killed. But there's some relief, though, when Dazai gives him a prompt instead of making him talk all on his own, and he takes it. ]
And of course I would rather get out of here and be at- at home. Wouldn't anybody?
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You never know the circumstances of those around you.
[ Offering a lift of his shoulders as he opens his eye to look at the other again. ]
It's more than that. You would have mentioned them if it was just that. It seems like normally you can't see them- [ A pause as something else clicks in place. ] Oh. That's how it is.
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Ayabe's not even good at understanding people or being aware of things on a normal basis and the link doesn't help him understand Dazai at all, just the curiosity and the probing and the little aha! when Dazai says "oh" and Ayabe scowls in return. ]
Cut the bullshit, Dazai, and don't make assumptions about my life. My family isn't relevant to anybody but myself, so just drop it.
[ The anxiety creeps up a little, but also frustration— and that frustration is directed inwards at himself than out at Dazai. His family problems are his own problems and nobody can help, that's what he believes and so he shuts down the avenue for talking about it right away, it wouldn't help anything. ]
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They are a big part as to why you're you. I'll drop it though.
[ What he'll feel from Dazai after that is something like a keen interest for a moment before it turns into something calmer. There's a distinct lack of any other normal emotions. ]
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He's quiet for a moment, shifting uneasily on his seat on the bed, because him being him isn't important at all either. Just a normal boy with no special qualities who is in over his head if he thinks he can be of any use fighting monsters or solving mysteries. That should be enough for people, without needing to dig any deeper. ]
Why do you care? The most important things about people are already listed on their placards- jobs, and skills. Those are the sorts of things you should care about more.
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Jobs and skills hardly state what kind of personality someone has or how they will act in a crisis. [ There's a pause here. ] Or more accurately how someone will act if they are possessed by a monster.
Besides, we've been living together all of this time. Might as well know more about you.
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Monsters, though, he couldn't tell anything at all, being with Hunter the night before he killed and the night after and there was no difference, everything carried on as normal. ]
Everything you need to know about me is on the wall. I'm a student, I keep my head down and I'm not involved in anything special like all those other guys out there. Not like you. A member of the mafia?
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Cw: Suicide idealization light???? I can change this if you need me to
I'm good with these topics! o7
okay o7
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