shortfornow | pc catchall: chuuya

Sort of? I mean, sometimes if I reach out to him I can hear his grumbling. But when I reach out for him I can feel him try to tug me in and consume me like a gravity well would, so I don't usually do that. So normally I just feel him there, yeah.

[ Normally Dazai just feels empty, so it's definitely new.

Wait. ]

You don't feel him here, do you?

Nah. I haven't felt him since we got here. That's why I didn't sleep so well the first week, you know? The only time I ever felt alone in my own body before was all the times you used No Longer Human on me.

[ That gives him an odd feeling. It's strangely fitting that the only time Chuuya feels alone is when Dazai touches him. ]

I don't think I could get used to having someone else there.

[ It's usually empty. ]

And I don't think I could get used to not having someone else there.

[It's different, when something has always been there.]

...say, Dazai. Why didn't you kill me or Ayabe? We were both right there with you.

I wondered this myself. You two would have been easier for the fox to take out.

Maybe it knew it would have gotten caught. Or maybe it's because you two are closest to me.

Maybe the fox sensed that you cared, and decided to go with someone you cared less about.

[ That has him hesitating because...that's. That's something new. Caring.

...

... ...]

You might be right.

So.

You care about Ayabe, huh?

[I'm sorry he's like this.]

He had amusing reactions.

[ Do you know often he showed off how uneven his hair was to drive Ayabe crazy? ]

So it's like why you pick on me, then.

[He snickers.]

Hopefully you weren't too mean to him, Ayabe's a good person with a short temper.

[He sounds genuinely fond of Ayabe when he says that too.]

[ He's never heard of Chuuya sounding like that. ]

It's for a different reason.

[ He uses different tactics for them both and there's different reasons to keeping them around. ]

[Oho, this is unexpected.]

Yeah? What different reasons?

[ Do you really want to know Chuuya?

He supposes it's the only time to share. It might be good to see his reaction. ]

He's fun to pick on, while you make it interesting. I never argued with anyone before or fought against anyone.

...really? Not even once?

[He finds that hard to believe, given how abrasive Dazai can be.]

[ Chuuya... he just hangs around the boss and the mafia. Who would he even compete with? ]

Not even once.

[Kouyou maybe?]

Huh. Well I guess that's why you wanted to 'keep me' then, huh?

[All the dog comments suddenly make more sense.]

[ That sounds gay when he puts it like that. Lifting his hand up for a moment to touch the bars. ]

Could be. I don't really understand it myself.

[Let's be real, they're both pretty damn gay.

And Chuuya's going to hold up his own hand, pressing it to his side of the bars right over where Dazai's hand is.

No hand-holding will happen here, though. These bars are very solid.]

Maybe it's puberty or something. Teenagers are supposed to get really stupid at that time, right?

[ Puberty makes it sound even more gay. ]

That makes it sound like I want to kiss you.

[ He manages to make a face at that that basically says no way.

Another thought pops in his head. ]

Maybe Missile was right.

Well it's a good thing you don't want that, because you'd be left disappointed.

[Sorry Dazai. The bars of the cage prevent canoodling.]

Missile is right a lot, but what is he right about right now?

[ Just the bars preventing it?

He thinks for a moment before putting a single finger over his own mouth in a shuu-ing way. ]

Maybe that is one thing I should take to the grave.

[Okay, the bars and Chuuya's sense of taste. Though honestly, given Dazai's about to die and all, if he asked for a kiss Chuuya would probably give him one. Last requests and all.]

You're going to take words from a dog to your grave?

[ It would be funny to take his first, considering it's something Chuuya views as special. Bars and he's not sure if he wants to appear desperate to leave a mark though.

And he's already left a different mark on the other. ]

I'm considering it. I might be willing to share if you tell me something you haven't told anyone else before.

Something I haven't told anyone else before, huh?

[Well, there's plenty he's never told anyone, but. Hmm.]

...remember how Melt was talking at the trial a few weeks ago, about how she was a god and humans were below her?

I'm s- If I'm not actually human, I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be unable to relate to anyone ever again.

[It's scary, even if he swallows that bit of the confession down.]

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shortfornow - 2020-03-19 19:19 (UTC) - Expand