[I really don't know why "in a direction" made me giggle so much.]

It is not the penalties I have ever been afraid of... but it was intensely frustrating to not be able to say a word, no matter how I tried. [She sighs.] The number of times I tried to blurt it out in the middle of a conversation, thinking that if I did it suddenly, whatever was causing it would not be able to stop me...

Well, it was a little embarrassing.